The Chaotic Life of a High School Senior

(Before this post starts: I could't find a decent picture of me with a good "oh well" face so this was the closest i could get. Please don't roast me for my bad hair dye job or my baby face thanks!!)

So as you may know, I started my senior year mid-August. It's been quite a whirlwind of a superfluous amount of work and a boggling amount of social confusion to say the least. How have I been managing it, you may ask? Well let's start from the beginning. 

When the year started out, I was feeling pretty great. I had three AP classes and my Student Media class (which I've been in since 6th grade) to look forward to. Everything was going pretty well until I got to Calculus. Context: In a normal circumstance, I completely forget how to function when a math problem is presented to me. So naturally, a week into this class, I wasn't getting it. I've had to work really hard and stay after school sometimes just to do well. 

And then there's Student Media. Since I'm an editor, the course is year round, so it takes up 2 of my 8 periods. In past years, this hasn't been a big deal. However, I want to go to pretty competitive schools, so I knew I needed to take another AP class this year. So I had an ultimatum: Stay in Student Media, or drop it for AP Psychology. Mind you, this was a week after school had started, so I would be pretty behind if I chose to make the switch.

However, with council from my parents and principal, we decided that it would be best for me to take Psych, and so I did. The sudden switch didn't allow me time to discuss the decision with my fellow editorial board members, therefore, stirring up some controversy. I hurt the feelings of some of my closest friends and I wish I could reverse how the situation was planned out.

On top of that, it's been hard for me to make friends this year. My school is like a collection of cliques, and never really fitting into solely one group, I've always had friends from all different groups. However, the groups are becoming much more established this year. When people hang out outside of school, it's almost always with the group. So naturally, I haven't been asked to do anything on the weekends because I just don't fit in like I used to. 

So you might be wondering why I'm sharing this post, on a blog that I haven't written on for 6 months, amidst everything happening right now. I want to share how I'm feeling for others who may feel the same way. It's hard to go through life at this young age and not feel like you have any close friends or that the schoolwork load is never going to end. We all face things in life that we feel are too difficult to handle sometimes. But life isn't about what happens to you, it's about how you react to it. 

Going forward, I'm going to take my schoolwork stresses with full stride and give it everything I have. I'm not going to complain that I have too much work because I am thankful that I have been given such a good life that I even get to take these challenging courses at all. I am going to reach out to more people and try to make closer friendships. I'm not going to let feelings of not fitting in rule where I sit at lunch or who I hang out with. And I challenge all of you to take the worst situations in your life and turn them around for the better, seeing the light in every dark space.