Welcome back everyone! As you may be able to tell, I completely revamped my site and I couldn't be happier with how it turned out. I'm still working on uploading old content onto this new site, so I appreciate your patience with the process. I've had a lot on my mind recently and I felt like sharing my story could help someone else out there. Hence the sudden blogging reboot.
Last month, I went on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic with my senior class. Each day, we passed out bags of food, prayed over families, and played with kids during their recess time. It was humbling to see how people who had so little could get so much joy from a simple bag of food or a bracelet or even just a piggy-back ride.
On the last night, it felt real. I wanted to completely change my life around. I was tired of living a fake life where I tried to please everyone. I was tired of trying so hard to be funny and cool and popular. It didn't make me happy. It didn't last. It left me feeling lonely and unsatisfied. It was time to make a change.
So fast forward to soon after we returned from the trip. I started my mornings with daily devotions and I began going to church. I started feeling happier and I didn't feel lost anymore.
So why do I say all of this? Well recently, I've felt stuck in a rut. School has consumed most of my time so everything else has been put aside. Spending time with friends, doing things I love, and keeping life centered on God haven't been priorities lately. I know I only have about 2 months left, but time is going by too slowly.
I've felt out of control and overwhelmed more times than I can count.
On top of this, I feel alone all the time. I have lost most of my close friends this past year, because my school has the same old groups that I just don't fit into. Each group has its own mold, and I just don't fit into any of them.
I can't help but wondering what's wrong with me. Why do I feel so fragile when I try to be strong? I put walls up, but behind them, I'm hoping someone will break them down.
Honestly, I don't really have a good ending for this post. I guess I just wanted to share a little life update and was wondering if anyone else is stuck in a rut. Whether emotionally, mentally, or physically, we all reach those points of confusion and frustration. I know that in the future, I will look back at this time in my life and realize that it made me stronger for the future.
No matter how difficult it gets, stay true to yourself. -- Morgan